relationship coaching
1:2:1 support helping you feel safe in love by changing the subconscious beliefs, attachment styles and nervous system patterns that keep you stuck in anxious spirals.
Love hasn’t felt how you hoped it would.
The phone checking and sleepless nights whilst dissecting every cue for answers, wondering if the tone seemed off, or if the time it took to reply was disguised disinterest. The dramatic reaction that you knew was unreasonable, but you couldn’t seem to stop the triggered response in its tracks. The overgiving until you convince yourself it’s easier and more enjoyable to be alone because trying to keep love is exhausting. The relationship you have lost yourself inside of, realising you’ve made one person your entire world and are missing who you are outside of it. The resistance you have to dating because life is far more peaceful when you don’t.
You love love, but you are tired of it feeling so difficult to navigate. You want love to bring out the best in you, not the worst. You want it to be a space you feel safe inside of, not one where you live in fear.
That’s when you find this work.
You aren’t choosing the love you attract,
your attachment style is.
Your beliefs, your nervous system and your internal strategies for safety tend to contradict the secure love you desire. They catalogue the moments love felt unsafe, unpredictable and conditional and have been running that programme ever since, scanning your relationships for the same danger. The texts that take too long. The subtle shifts you overanalyse. The distance you mistake for danger.
It’s not because you aren’t doing enough self-development to fix it either.
It’s because lasting change in how you love and how you let yourself be loved doesn't only come from understanding something intellectually. It comes from your mind and body learning, at a cellular level, that it is finally safe to receive it.
That’s what we dive into in coaching…
you know you are ready for this work when…
You're dating, and caught in the current of it: the texts that take too long, the subtle decoding of whether someone is really interested, the constant hum of anxiety underneath something that should feel exciting, leaving you wondering if you’re better off alone.
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You avoid love altogether because you’re in your era of protecting your peace and building a life so full that you barely even notice the absence of love. Except, deep down, you know you do. You know you’re protecting yourself from something you have a deep desire for.
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You're in a relationship, and even though it’s logically safe, you still struggle to feel it. You’re still stuck in anxious spirals, overgiving to make sure the love stays, struck by irrational jealousy or losing yourself and your life outside of the relationship.
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what we explore together
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rewiring the subconscious.
Then we identify the beliefs that are driving those patterns and behaviours. The story you absorbed about what love requires of you. The version of yourself you learned to perform to keep someone close. The moments you override your own instincts because the fear of losing someone feels louder than the truth of what you actually need. Once we reach the root, we can rewire your inner reality to alter your outer one.
learning to hold yourself.
This isn’t about avoiding triggers altogether; it’s about learning how to hold yourself, regulate and react differently when spirals arrive. That’s why we go into depth on how to practically navigate situations moving forward, so you leave with the ability to support yourself no matter what arises.
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real-time reprogramming.
We look at the real situations you are navigating, the conversation you're avoiding, the boundary you can't quite hold, the relationship pattern that keeps showing up in a different face, the anxiety that cannot be soothed no matter what you do and we shine a spotlight on the patterns that need reprogramming.
Overtime, something shifts.
You can go a full day without replaying a conversation in your head, checking for what you might have done wrong. When he takes a few hours to reply, your body doesn't go straight to worst case because space doesn't feel like danger anymore. You can ask for reassurance without dressing it up as something else, without testing him first to see if he passes. You can communicate what’s bothering you without the fear of abandonment telling you to stay silent. You can trust when something is good and walk away when it isn’t.
And eventually, you soften into love. You remember it’s our life force, the entire reason for our existence. You start to experience it as a gift, instead of something to fear. You return to the core of who you really are, before the masks of protection were put in place, and you finally feel at home in yourself and relationships because of it.
That's not to say you never get triggered or struggle inside of love. It's that you know how to hold those parts of you now, and you've built a relationship with both yourself and others that can hold them too.
Meet the coach
I spent years thinking something was wrong with me. I'd get into a relationship and lose myself completely, turning into a version of myself I didn't recognise, needy and erratic one minute, cold and shut down the next. There was no in between. So I told myself the story that I was just better on my own, that I was the best version of myself single, and I poured all my effort into my own self-development instead.
But somewhere in the middle of all the books, podcasts and Instagram carousels, I realised I wasn’t just experiencing anxiety; it was an anxious attachment born from my nervous system deciding a long time ago that love wasn't safe.
So I started doing the work, having coaching to understand my patterns, my blocks, my beliefs around love, and I met my partner right in the middle of it. Which is exactly when the real work started. Because you don't just find your person and never feel dysregulated or anxious again. Or heal yourself fully and then meet the love of your life. You heal while you're in it, while you're getting triggered, while someone doesn't text back quick enough and your whole body goes into alarm, or they make a passing comment that you dissect as danger, or they do everything right and you still wait for the other shoe to drop. That's the only place it actually gets to change.
I've been with my partner eight and a half years now and I still get triggered sometimes; I'm not going to pretend that part switches off. But I know how to stay myself in it now; I know how to say what I need without waiting for the rejection to land, and I built a relationship that can actually hold that. That's the work I do with women now: not fixing you before you're allowed to love, but creating the safety within your system and subconscious to actually hold it.